Tuesday 25 November 2014

More things motherhood has in common with surfing...

In my post titled "Some things motherhood has in common with surfing..." I have previously compared motherhood to surfing and if you haven't read it yet, you can just click on the link and read it. I wrote that post after I watched the movie "Soul Surfer" and perhaps You know, that I like to draw practical life lessons from movies.  In this movie, Bethany, the one-armed lead actress, painstakingly needed to learn to surf again and I felt, that this applied to me too. Now a mother and somewhat one-armed (with a baby seemingly permanently attached to my left hip) I needed to learn to live life again. A new life, less affected by my somewhat troubled childhood.

But yesterday, I watched a different kind of surfer movie called "Surfer, Dude" a 2008 American comedy film starring Matthew McConaughey in the role of a world class surfer. The movie consisted a great deal of them smoking "grass" and that might be a little off putting for some, but when you have a teenager at home, smoking a joint to escape the stress of raising him, suddenly seems so much more appealing (I am just kidding!!!). No, seriously, despite the high level of drug consumption, there were some things that I liked very much about the movie and I would like to ponder over them for a moment and share them with you.

The plot of the movie followed the surfers through a "flat-water curse", a very long period of time without waves. In other words, a total lack of action, which is devastating for dedicated surfers of course! For more than two months there were no waves. None, not even one! Such a long period of time is considered a "drought" and they even attempted to "break" it by fasting and meditating, but sadly to no avail. There was nothing else for them to do than to WAIT. All surfers know that they can't MAKE waves. All they can do is hang out together and wait and be ready to get down to the beach at the slightest feel of a breeze! As a matter of fact, surfers seem to spend an obscene amount of time waiting. Even in times of good surfing, in-between the waves they relax and wait, chat to each other and soak up the scenery, always ready on a somewhat subconscious level to get back into action and paddle like mad at the sight of another wave.

Wow! I can relate to that as a mom! 

How often have I felt, as a mother, that I lacked opportunity - a wave! I used to love being busy and ever so "efficient" before I had kids and now, being a mom, it often seems like I spend my life waiting. Waiting for them to finally go to sleep or to wake up, to get over the flu or to stop crying, to finish their plate of food or to come out of school, it seems I am always WAITING!! It's not that I do not enjoy these moments or do not enjoy being a mom, but I crave some kind of opportunity to shine, to prove that I can still do more. I crave a wave! Don't you sometimes crave one too? 

However, especially when my kids were small, there were no such opportunities, NONE. What was a drought of waves for the surfers, certainly was a drought of opportunities to me and I didn't always understand why. Occasionally I even tried to make something happen, make a wave of my own. But those were short-lived and somewhat futile efforts. Why? Well, having watched the movie, I finally get it. 

I believe opportunities, just like waves, come our way. We cannot make them but we can see them for what they really are - a gift from God, just meant to be enjoyed. Sometimes we are too late to catch one and we enviously watch someone else take it, but sometimes there are just none where we are. Especially as moms, we can't leave and go search for them, but we can wait and be ready to ride when they finally do come our way again. There was a purpose for the drought in this movie and there might be a purpose for the drought in your life. I have certainly discovered mine.

I needed to learn to relax more and wait...be ready, yes...but wait and wait with a good attitude. I have learnt to appreciate my time with God while I am waiting and the moments I get with my fellow surfers, other moms. There is absolutely no point in stressing over a lack of waves and very much the same way there is no point to stress or complain over a lack of opportunity. Opportunities do and will come, at the right time, the only question might be - are you ready to ride?

I have decided I want to live life the way surfers do...always on standby, ready to enjoy the gifts I am given by God and enjoy the beach with or without waves! I am blessed enough to live near a beach and there is so much more I can learn from the ocean, but as for today, well today, I just want to reach out to you and encourage you to enjoy waiting, alone or together and find comfort in these words:

"And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others." 2 Cor 9:8 (NLT)

Spend time with Him and you will have all you need! What a promise!

I took this picture just the other day and now I know why! Isn't it perfect? But if none of the above makes any sense to you and you got some time to spare today...share a moment with another mom or just go and take out the DVD of "Surfer, Dude" and I hope you enjoy watching it. HAVE A GREAT DAY!

(Photo is my own.)


Wednesday 17 September 2014

The Invisible Mom

Have you ever felt invisible as a mom??

This video by Nicole Johnson titled "The Invisible Woman" is so incredibly beautiful I decided to share it on my blog. You will see, it is well worth watching!




I know this beautiful story doesn’t need any extra explanations. You could easily say that she said it all. Having watched it several times I must admit that I shed a tear or two and I wondered - why do we have such a need to be "seen"?  Why do we moms want to be noticed? If you want to comment on my thoughts about invisible moms, please leave me a note at the end of this post. 

When I was in school, I once acted in a play, but my acting skills were miserable to say the least and my ability to communicate emotions on a scale of 1 to 10, in all honesty, hovered around 2. I didn’t even last 15 minutes in practice and the teacher took me out of the play and gave me some insignificant backstage task. Perhaps you can imagine that I was devastated! I felt as if I had been robbed of my opportunity to shine! But the real problem was, that back then, at the tender age of 12 and having been scarred by two parental divorces already, I didn’t understand why I wanted to shine. 

Watching this video, I realized that sometimes we moms crave some “fame” too. Just some attention, someone to notice us! It’s quite natural I suppose, that at some point in our journey as moms, we might think that we should be doing BIGGER things. Things that are being noticed by others. But I believe that what Nicole Johnson is suggesting is, that perhaps you are already doing that? Simply by raising your beautiful child? 

I know...we get tired of the daily routine! But dare I say that joining a Moms & Tots group, the school's PTA or even a church committee to distract you from boredom or insignificance, is not always the best answer at hand? The reason I am saying that is because it can lead you to compare, compare yourself to other moms and comparing, I believe, can be a dangerous thing. It can often lead to the thought that "I need to be more". But do we really need to be more?

Fact is, that Jesus has called us to serve (Matthew 20:26-28). I presume that he meant first serve our families, then serve others. So when, on a rather boring day of serving our kids, that nagging feeling for "more" sets in, perhaps we should first investigate the motive behind it? Do we want "more" to be a better mom? Or do we want more just to feel better about ourselves or make others think more highly of us? 

Today, almost forty years later, I understand why the teacher didn’t want me in the play. I wasn’t out to please the audience. I was out to please myself. Out of the hurt in my life, I needed to be important in some kind of way and being in the play seemed like a good start. It took me almost 40 years (and quite a few more wrong motives) to finally understand that I don’t need to do anything significant to be important. I am important because God made me significant just like He made you significant too!

Where did I finally find the answer? In my favorite Psalm. Psalm 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God!” (NLT) Be still! Honestly, how often do we “be still”? But every time I am being still, He tells me how important I am and lifts me right out of the depths of my daily struggle for significance and he’ll do the same for anyone who takes time to “be still”.

Did you know that quite a few people in the bible were just being still and yet, they became rather famous? Esther was being still for a long time, waiting to be important to the King. He later listened to her and saved her people! Ruth was being still on the side of Naomi, obediently following her around the country and serving her. She ended up marrying the most important and richest man in town! Lazarus was being very still, in fact he was so still he was dead. But he was raised back to life by Jesus! They all became incredibly famous and it all started with being still. So little effort got them so much fame. Less is more? Yes! Sometimes even in motherhood.
 
You might have thought that your life as a mom is insignificant, but now you know (if you watched the video) that you are building a cathedral and yes, you might be a “builder unknown” but that doesn’t change the importance of your job! One stone at the time, one seemingly endless discussion, one instruction even one argument at the time, you are building your child. God sees every moment that you spend raising that child and He thinks it is a moment well spent.

Let’s face it; raising children is a mammoth job. You show up day after day and make personal sacrifices for no credit at all. It is likely your name will never be  mentioned at any of his prize givings or printed on one of his/her Spellathon certificates. But God will know. He can see you. He sees everything you do. Having watched the video a couple of times, I agree, we sacrifice ourselves, not for them, but for God. So that one day, when they leave our homes, He can live in them and remain with them! 

Is it difficult? Of course! And we all make mistakes! Even within the time of writing this blog, having been distracted by my daughter several times, for seemingly arbitrary reasons, I have managed to shout at her "You are wasting my time!” Oh, Lord, forgive me for my own shortcomings! Remind me today and every coming day, that it is not a waste of time to raise my child! But most importantly remind me that when I need a break, when I feel unimportant as a mom...all I need to do is come to you and be still for a little while! Please Lord, bless every mom, granny or woman that is reading this post and let her have a meaningful day today!

Don't forget to comment if you liked this post! :-)
 

Thursday 22 May 2014

Come fly at a higher altitude mom!

I can't say that I particularly like flying on big airplanes, but I must admit that I have learned some rather important lessons up there, high above the clouds. Two of my most popular posts deal with airplane safety and attitude and how they relate to my life as a mom. If you haven't read them yet and you would like to, you can find the links here:

Today, however, I would like to zoom in on the importance of our altitude. Altitude, as you might or might not know, refers to our height above the ground.

Image courtesy of www.morguefile.com
I have failed so many times as a mother, I cannot even begin to tell you and you probably wouldn't want me to, but what's important is that my biggest fails usually happen when I did not have enough "quiet time". In case you have never had a quiet time and don't quite know what I am referring to, a quiet time is a "time out" for adults. Just like you would give your child when his or her behavior starts to deteriorate. Admittedly, my own behavior still  deteriorates quite often as I am not a very seasoned mother yet. I still tend to "lose the plot" in those really stressful moments. Of course, in those stressful moments, I don't have time for a "quiet time"! But as soon as I can, later in the day, I run to my reading chair and stay...for one minute, 10 minutes, whatever I can spare. I sit in my chair and ponder over my latest outburst of anger, pray for forgiveness and wait until peace settles in again. There, alone in my chair, chatting to God or just sitting still, I manage to put everything back into perspective and regain hope, that for the rest of the day, I won't slip again.

I thought about such quiet times on a recent flight in a Boeing 737, on which I was lucky enough to occupy a window seat. High above the ground at 36'000 feet I was looking outside and noticed, that we seemed to move so incredibly slowly over the ground that was barely visible below. I couldn't spot any cars and with the details of "daily life" hidden from my immediate sight, the world looked so much more serene and my problems very much smaller than they usually do. It felt as if I was suspended in time. Most interestingly, far above the dotted clouds, it seemed as if I could see my destination even though we hadn't reached it yet.

I sat, gazing out the window, and wondered what this would look like, if the rather powerful airplane would fly incredibly low, perhaps at 5000 feet above ground. Everything would fly by so fast! Can you imagine? Flying in a Boeing 737 just above the ground?? We would hardly be able to take in the details of the landscape rushing past, not far below. Our destination would seem very far away from that angle and we would surely not be able to see it yet. At low altitude, it would be a scary flight!!

But only too often that's how we fly as mothers! No time to climb up the mountain and rest...we fly low and our days are rushing past so incredibly fast! We can hardly catch our breath as we take care of the many details of our lives and most of the time, we can't really see our destination or purpose. So what is our destination or purpose as a mother? To produce a highly efficient and intelligent child? To be remembered for the clean house and the many things we managed to tick off on our seemingly endless "to do" lists? The amount of social gatherings we attended? Or should we be remembered for the time we spent with our children? Loving them. Listening to them. Admiring and encouraging them...

Image courtesy of www.morguefile.com
On the way home, high up above the clouds, with zero visibility, I noticed that I have already flown too low too often! But a good “quiet time” takes me up high. It takes me to 36000 spiritual feet. It let’s me forget all my daily struggles and shows me my purpose and His providence. For God is faithful and He always provides. But I don’t always see it down below. Up there, at high altitude, my days slow down and I get to enjoy them so much more!


That's why I want to invite you to come on board! Let's have a quiet time and take off. The amazing thing with "quiet times" is that the more you have them, the less your behavior deteriorates. It's actually kind of a preventative measure. So join me at 36'000 feet today! Take a breather and have a good quiet time with God, even if it is just a 10 minute flight! Chances are, your problems will start to disappear and you will feel so much better afterwards!



 “Come to me, all you who are weary 
and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matt 11:28 (NIV)



Even those who are young grow weak; 
young people can fall exhausted.
But those who trust in the Lord for help
will find their strength renewed.
They will rise on wings like eagles;
they will run and not get weary,
they will walk and not grow weak."
 
                                                              Isaiah 40:30-31 (GNT)




I wish you a peaceful day today! 





(Unless otherwise stated, all photos in this post are my own.)

Wednesday 16 April 2014

Am I an apple? Yes I am!


I recently had to explain to my children the difference between their age and mine. Knowing that my outer "self" is looking different from theirs, I was facing the dilemma of making it visual to them, that inside, I feel exactly the same. I may have some wrinkles and skin blemishes I never had before, but inside, I don’t feel old at all. I trust you know exactly what I am talking about!

So I enlisted the help of an apple. Because an apple is, sort of, what I am.

After I’ve been born out of my mother’s womb and having grown a little, I probably looked something like this…


But I have aged a little since. Now, I look more like this…


With time, blemishes will start to show. The years pass by and we get exposed to life’s sorrows…


Each victory we claim leaves a mark. Like scars in a battle from years gone by and we start looking a little more like this…


I suppose I could put on some more make up and then I would look something like this...


Except that just simply wouldn’t be me.

But is it really the outside that matters? The bible says in 1 Samuel 16:7 …The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (NIV)

My outward appearance is getting older, nonetheless I do not feel it in my heart. So, perhaps the secret to our true age lies inside. Now, ordinarily, people cut apples open like this…


But I believe, in order to see what God sees, you need to cut your apple horizontally. That's when you will discover this little secret...


Picture is my own

You see, the old apple might have some more bumps and bruises and brown spots on the outside, but INSIDE, well inside, if you cut the apple like this, you will see that every apple has a beautiful STAR with good seeds. Just like you have a beautiful soul, hidden by God! That Scripture above tells me that God sees me on the INSIDE and I bet He sees the girl in me, no matter what I look like on the outside. He sees the new life, my future and what I will be. He sees the eternal me that is ready to be replanted in eternity.

So mom, if you are worried today about a few wrinkles, sit down and share an apple with your child. But remember to cut it horizontally!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!


(Unless otherwise stated, all images in this post are courtesy of www.morguefile.com)

Thursday 3 April 2014

Can we re-invent the “teacher-teacher” game?


Everything is a “must” when I don’t feel loved. Everything feels like a chore when I didn’t have enough time with God and I don’t feel like His little Princess anymore. Do you have mornings where everything seems like drudgery? Do you labor and toil on your list of chores, but get very little done by the end of the day? Days like that leave me very unsatisfied and somewhat stressed out and it must have been on a day like that, that I’ve decided that adulthood seems a little overrated. Don't get me wrong, I like the liberties that come with being "grown up", but there is a price we seem to pay. So just bear with me for a moment.

A while ago, during a bible study, I discovered that Jesus loves children. It says so in the bible and from what I have read, it seemed to me that He loves them especially. Naturally, being a mom and not a child, I wondered: But does He love adults too? If you were a seasoned Christian you’d probably say - of course! But I am not a seasoned Christian quite yet, so I focused on His special heart for children and that He seems to want us to be like them.

“Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 18:3 (NLT)

That sounded a bit harsh and it made me think about why Jesus loves children. What do the children do that He likes so much? I decided to ask the children in my bible class and here are some of the answers we came up with during class:

"Children play, they have fun and they laugh a lot. They learn pretty much all day long. When children fight, they most often make up and the next day they don’t worry about that fight anymore. Actually, they don’t worry about many things at all. Most children also have no troubles at all to believe in and respect God, much like they respect their teacher. Children help each other when help is needed and most importantly they pray. But how do they pray? They don’t only pray on their knees, they talk to God throughout the day, in various imaginary games, such as “teacher-teacher” or when the boys wrestle their cushion at home."

I wondered. How many of these things do I still do? May I ask? How many of these things do you still do? Do you give yourself time to play and have fun? Do you still laugh? Are you still willing to learn all day long? Learn to be a better mother? Learn to be a good friend? Learn from our most incredible example, our “most bestest” teacher ever – Jesus? Do you talk to God all daylong or just when you need Him to help you out?

If the answer paints a little bit of a grim picture, please do not feel condemned or in the slightest bit accused. That is not what I want you to think or feel. What I want you to do though, is to remember. What was it like to be a child? What was your life like without all the unnecessary things? Things we should not really be worrying about. Things we cannot change anyway. Things that use up our energy and give nothing back.

This very moment I am picturing myself sitting next to you, trying to remember my carefree childhood days also, and sitting next to you I would whisper to you, “Jesus does have a special heart for children including YOU and me!” In that special moment I would love nothing more than for you and me to understand, that perhaps, in that Scripture, He was giving us permission to be a little less “adult” and a bit more “childlike” instead.

In many of my posts I have tried to encourage you to spend more time with God. Having a “quiet time” is what we usually call it. I don’t mean to treat the term frivolously, but it does sound rather boring at first, especially to a new Believer who doesn’t know what to do. If you are such a new Believer, remember what I just whispered…"Jesus loves the child in you especially!" If you are not in the mood for some serious bible research today, but you would like to hear from God in some other way, perhaps it is time to re-invent that game. That “teacher-teacher” game we played so often "way back when", but on a very personal level, alone with God.

But this time you don’t need to assemble your entire household of teddy bears, like my 9 year old daughter usually does, and teach them math. What you could do, however, in the very same way, is make yourself a cup of tea, sit down and simply say, ”Lord, I am here. I am listening. You be the teacher.”

It might feel odd the first time. But I have tried. Trust me, when I say, that after a few awkward beginnings, I have had the most wonderful playtimes with God!

 “Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvellous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” Jeremiah 33:3 (MSG)

That promise, I can testify, is so true! He is waiting for you mom. He’s ready for you to play. Are you ready? Are you willing to give Him some time today? Are you at least curious enough to try it out? When you do, I wish you a wonderful “teacher-teacher” time!

Picture courtesy of www.morguefile.com