The Journey to the center of Me - Part 7

WELCOME BACK to my final post based on the book "Seven Days in Utopia - Golf's Sacred Journey" by David L. Cook. In a series of seven posts I tried to link all the learnings that a burnt-out golfer takes, to motherhood and my own journey as a "once-burnt-out" mom. On Day 7 in Utopia, the golfer will have to confront some "buried lies" and reading this book gave me a chance to do the same. I want you to know that David L. Cook has such a gentle way of leading you to this point, that I cannot help but recommend that you read his book! The much needed knowledge that I have received from this book, has forever changed how I feel about motherhood! My posts might make more sense if they are read from the beginning, so perhaps you want to go back to Day 1. But if you are ready, let's move on and I invite you to walk with me for the last few steps of my own journey, a journey to the center of "me"...

Utopia cemetery

Are we chasing scores to impress others...?

On Day 7 , the last day that the golfer spends in Utopia, he meets with the farmer on a small cemetery. Over the past six days it had become clear that he was struggling, because his golf scores and his self-identity had merged into one and his life otherwise had little in the way of foundations. On the cemetery, the farmer gently explains to the golfer that life, in the end, will be measured by significance, not by a score. Holding a bible, he shares that this most incredible book reveals that someday, we will all stand before our Maker and give an account of our life and he invites him to leave the insignificant habit of "score-chasing" behind and start a new life. All his life, the golfer had believed that his main calling was to be a great golfer and he never considered that he was selling himself short, that he could do more. But this is about to change. In the middle of a cemetery under a shady tree, the farmer shares the gospel message with him, by reading him the story of Simon Peter, a fisherman who had also been driven by performance. Simon, having caught nothing one day, tired and hungry, decided to listen to Jesus and follow his advice and the result was spectacular. He was able to witness the greatest success of his career. In the past, the golfer had been controlled by a need for "performance" and "success" and like Simon, he had somehow lost sight of what it means to live a life of real significance.  At the end of his week in Utopia, he is finally learning that success is only a destination we pass on the way through life, but significance is an eternal calling. By inviting Simon to follow Him, Jesus gave Simon the offer of a life of significance and the farmer was doing the same for the golfer, by sharing the gospel message with him. 

So the Golfer comes to a crossroad on Day 7 and he is taking a new road! On this new road, he will leave his fear of failure behind. His identity will no longer be tied to a game but to God. His purpose will no longer be in scoring in a game, but in a calling that has eternal value, which is revealed in the last chapter of this book. (Don't worry...I won't spoil it, I will let you read it!) But before he leaves, the farmer asks him to do one last thing...to write down all the lies that he has learnt along his journey through life and then, right next to them, write out the truth of God's Word that he had now learnt in the past seven days. These truths would finally set him free. On that day, on the cemetery in Utopia, the golfer buries his lies and though feeling a bit awkward at first, he begins his first conversation with God...

Stop...and consider the road you are walking on...?

There are such awesome parallels to my life in this chapter of the book and I wish I could share it all, but I will try and finish with just a few reflections and I hope that one day you will read this book and enjoy it too. In my last 16 years as a mother, my thoughts were and still are, for the most part, consumed by my children. After all, being a mom is what I do. It has defined me to the point that my performance as a mother and my self-identity have also merged into one and I must say, I was struggling too. I was lacking a good foundation of balance and self-confidence, with the result, that after a "good" day (equaling a good score for the golfer), I would feel good about myself, but after a "bad" day, I would feel defeated and drained. I didn't realize that life as a mother is not measured by how well we organize our day, but by the significant little moments we spend with our kids. I know that now. But some years back, all I wanted to do was being the best mother I could possibly be and although being a mother is an honorable calling, I am now finding out that I have sold myself short. That I too can do more. In the past, I have been controlled by my "performance", always chasing a "good" day but my life was a series of ups and downs and I eventually craved a more steady pace. Like the golfer, I did come to a personal crossroad and I have chosen a new way. A way where I can leave the fear of failure behind and my identity is not tied to my performance anymore, but to God. From now on, I don't want to seek my purpose in how well I do, but in how well I listen to God. From a fictitious golfer in a very real place, I have learnt to live life the SFT way - "See it, feel it, trust it." For me, this means to see His face, feel His presence and trust His love." Not in Utopia, but in a reading chair, placed in a quiet corner in my home, a transformation has taken place that I cannot begin to put into words. I have certainly shed enough tears to fill a grave, but at the lowest point in my life, I have begun conversations with God. In that quiet and private corner of my home, He has helped me to clear all the lies of my past and to replace them with His truth and a brand new hope.

Allow Jesus to step into your boat...!

I am not a preacher, not even an evangelist, but I believe with every fiber of my being that there is a God. In the past few years, I have seen His hand print upon my life over and over and I have felt His presence closer than the wind upon my face. I also believe that He has a plan for my life and yours and that you are not reading this by chance. David L. Cook's book reminded me that it is our job to seek God and listen to His calling for our lives and that He gives us the grace to accept or reject Him - the choice is ours. In the final words of the chapter called "Buried Lies", the farmer adds that the bible says that this new road leads to heaven and that faith is the fuel that will move us from mile marker to mile marker. In other words - nobody is perfect at once! The first step we need to take is to realize that there is a God and that He is calling us to an adventure. Not only the golfer, but us all! The second step will be to ask God to forgive our sins that have kept us from taking this road before and the third step will then be to "get into the boat with the Master" and make Him the captain of our own life. Jesus will help us to push out into the deep water and He will tell us where to fish, no matter what job we are in, even or perhaps especially mothers. The outcome or success will always be in His hands, not ours and the most awesome thing that I have already witnessed myself is that the fear of failure will be removed from our lives! All we have to do is to ask God to forgive us for running in the wrong direction and to lead us down this new road through faith in His Son. If you are in dire need of a change of direction like I used to be...why not give Him the helm of your boat too?

But whatever you decide...He will always love you and I pray that you will have a blessed Christmas and...

...a GREAT WEEK!

 

...but what is wrapped under my Xmas tree has little real value and its joy will 

fade very quickly compared to what Jesus has done for me! I finally get it...!! 

Thank you Lord!

The Journey to the center of Me - Part 6 (Teatime!)

Teatime! While I am working on my next post, I just wanted to share a thought...

This is a photo I took a while ago, but it reminded me so beautifully to question by who's hand I live. On my request, the seagull was being fed deep fried chips, which is not at all part of its natural food, but we did it in order to attract it and much in the same way, not everything we receive from others is good for us...so the question is - by whose hand do we live?

John 6:35 says: "Jesus replied, ''I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." (NLT)

HAPPY ADVENT and as always...HAVE A GREAT WEEK! 

 

(Photo is my own. This animal might have been harmed in the making of it, for which I apologize! I won't do it again.)

The Journey to the center of Me - Part 6

I am almost finished with my series on David L. Cook's book "Seven Days in Utopia - Golf's Sacred Journey" and on Day 6, in a chapter titled "Hickory Sticks", everything starts coming together in Utopia.

If you have never read any posts of mine before, then I must confess to you right now that most of my life as a mother I have been so preoccupied with "doing things right" that I rarely got to enjoy my time with my kids. Sound familiar? I have decided that this must change! Though I might always remain a "non-perfect" mom, I am determined to enjoy myself now!

On Day 6 in Utopia, a farmer who took in a "burnt out" golfer, reviews a newly learnt process with him called "See, Feel and Trust". He wants him to "see" the target, "feel" the ball going that way and "trust" himself enough to make the shot. Trusting himself more, would finally allow him to ENJOY the game and might just allow him to see greatness unfold.

Oh, how I would love to be a great mother! But I'm afraid I am not. So what could I learn from this golfer to get there? How would I be able to apply this same process - to see...feel...and trust?

Reading this book, it seemed to me that this farmer is a bit like Jesus who is urging us to have a relationship with him, so that He can teach us. When I decided to have more quiet times, I could start hearing His gentle invitation: "See me"..."Feel my presence" and "Trust my guidance" - that's the SFT for a mom! Jesus is a very gentle coach and I truly believe that when we choose to trust God and stop living by other people's standards, that's when a great mom is revealed. 

But sometimes, in order to get there, we need to climb out of a box labeled "comfort zone", a box that can easily become a self-imposed prison. Much of my early adult years, I have spent developing a performance identity and I cared so much about what other people thought of me that I didn't realize  I was building my own prison. I was marching straight into a place where my passion and love for life would give way to an ever demanding fear of failure. For a very long time I have based my identity and self-worth on the shallow opinions of other people. I was a prisoner of what I thought they were thinking of me, whether or not they were actually thinking anything at all! But now Jesus is my defense attorney and He is seeking my appeal! Inside my head and my heart, He reminds me every day that the goal is not perfection, the goal is simply to stay in relationship with Him and to follow His new checklist for me - SEE me, FEEL my presence and TRUST my guidance. After all, the bible says that Jesus' passion is to set people free from prisons (or boxes)!

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a BAD mother and I didn't only have bad days. But when I planned my overly busy days, I usually got exactly that - just an overly busy day. I chose busyness over peace and togetherness, I chose to ignore the simple way of life and followed the ways of "the world" instead. For many months I knew in my heart that this kind of frantically busy and perfectionistic lifestyle was wrong, but I followed it anyway, because I didn't know how to change. So I pleaded with God, in my first quiet times. Shortly after, I came across this book with a checklist that might seem simple in concept, but it can be rather difficult to put into practice in our daily lives. I have come a long way, since I read this book and some things have finally "clicked". For the first time in my life I understand the idea of "letting things happen". I can't always control the score, but I can control the process. What does this mean? As a mother, I can't always control the outcome of a day or any particular situation, but I can control my behavior throughout it all. I now believe that in motherhood, it's not really the score that counts, but how we behave while we are walking the fairway. My days might still be stressful and nerve-wrecking at times, but I can enjoy any day if I am walking with God. This new mini-checklist of mine called "SFT" puts me into a position where I can have the best day possible at any given time. It doesn't guarantee perfection, it just increases the odds for my having the day I wanted to have. So, you could say that by having more quiet times I have moved the odds in my favor.

I might be no golfer, so I don't need to see, feel and trust my golf shot. But I am a MOM and I want to live life the "SFT" way from now on! I am impressed with the progress it has already produced in my life and if you find it an intriguing idea, I simply recommend that you buy the book! (You can click on the link underneath the photo in Part 1 if you want to purchase it.) We tend to hold independence sacred nowadays when in truth, the hearts of so many moms remain imprisoned, for the lack of wisdom being shared. I have found so much wisdom in this book! But most of it I have found in my quiet times. I have come to God desperate for hope and it has been given. I have also asked for answers to some of my biggest challenges and I have found them. I was in dire need of a mentor and he finally showed up in the form of Jesus. He won't ask for payment, He will only invite you to live life His way and I can testify that He will transform your life for the better in so many ways! I am definitely much more relaxed than I used to be and I have finally started to enjoy my life. 

I hope you will join me in a couple of weeks for what might be the last part in this series, but until then...

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

(Photos are courtesy of morguefile.com)